Why holding someone else's perspective with your own matters.

Oftentimes it's easy for us to believe we can handle if someone disagrees with our opinion, thoughts, or beliefs. So let me ask: How many close relationships do you have those who disagree with a key principle, belief, or concept you have?

My guess is not many-and that makes sense in a way. 

However, what happens when those you're close with disagree? 

Do you think you are automatically right, and they are wrong? Do you dismiss their experiences and perspectives? Do you counter the things they say?

Or

Are you able to ask questions about their experiences to better understand how and why they feel the way they do-even if you adamantly disagree? Can you have your own experience and also see theirs as well? 

Because it's very easy to dismiss and become defensive. It's very easy to try and convince someone why they are wrong without every really hearing what they are saying.

Being able to say, "okay, I can understand why you would feel this way based on your experiences. My experiences are different, but that doesn't either of us right or wrong" can make a world of difference in your relationships. 

Obviously, it doesn't have to be worded exactly like that; however, the idea can be extrapolated to fit your specific circumstance.

It's so important to recognize and own any defensive or dismissive or countering behavior. I believe, in our society, it comes very naturally. I believe it comes from a place of not being heard and understood in our youth, but that doesn't mean we can't see it, own it, and change it.

We need to do better.

So why does it matter?

Because doing so will change us, our world, and our culture. It leads to true acceptance and understanding of others which, in turn, leads to less and less of the destructive human behaviors and news stories we've grown accustom to. We learn to live with others not against others. It doesn't mean you have to have close relationships with everyone. That is not realistic. But haveing the emotional maturity and intelligence to recognize we are all different yet all want to be understood and heard without being told we are wrong for choosing to be us can change the nature of society as we know it.

Not doing so keeps us stuck and locked in a cycle that leads to distrust, contempt, and hate. We will continue to see violence, continue to wonder how people could do these things, and we will continue to be part of the problem rather than the solution. 

Be an active part of the solution. That is what will change this world as we know. Stop being an active part of the problem.