Joy is scary, and having it is vulnerable. This is how you can embrace it.

This weekend I finally caught the sinus cold my kids have been passing around. Except mine was more of chest congestion, voice changer, feeling weak when I walk around. I still don’t feel great, and really feel like I could sleep for an entire day. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop Monday from arriving. As I reflect upon the weekend I realize that it was what I refer to as a “lazy weekend.” That doesn’t mean I didn’t do anything; it simply means I didn’t have anything structured or planned. While there were some things I wanted to accomplish in the cleaning category it wasn’t anything that needed to be done by a hard deadline. Thus, I got to enjoy the weekend without the mania of “doing things and getting things done” while feeling not my best. I got to sit with my time and space. Sometimes it was in the quiet, sometimes it was in the chaotic yet beautiful dynamic that is five kids. I thought about (And am thinking about) on how hard that is-to simply sit. Sit with feelings, sit with no agenda, sit with knowing there are things that CAN be done, but SHOULD they be done RIGHT NOW? The saying, “Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today” is relevant. Procrastination is a tricky thing. It can lead to much more stress and anxiety in the future versus in the present. However, on the flip side of that, if we are constantly “doing things” when do we have time to rest? Is there a difference between procrastinating the doing of things and procrastinating the acceptance or understanding our emotions? I would say that both are forms of procrastination. Both are avoiding something that really needs to be addressed. It’s a balance. A balance between not putting off the important issues, and putting off sitting with yourself, emotions, and thoughts. Perhaps it’s even a procrastination of simply slowing down long enough to play. Yes, play. Play? I am an adult I don’t play? That’s childish .Is it? I can tell you that some the best times I had this past weekend-and within the past couple months-have been jumping on the trampoline with my kids. (One of the best Christmas presents ever in case you are considering one). It has been one of the most fun, carefree, belly laughing times I had with ALL my kids in a long time! It is now something I look forward to. While I don’t do it everyday, and I don’t do it for nearly as long as they do, it makes me smile thinking about it. I am considering doing it more often, though, even if only for a few minutes because it brings so much joy to everyone. How do you truly play?

When do you rest your mind? Resting allows are body and minds to experience emotions or feelings or thoughts we may have been ignoring by keeping busy. That can be scary. If we find ourselves unable-unwilling-to sit still, slow down, not “be busy” constantly perhaps we should stop ask ourselves why. Why do we have this internal push to be incessantly on the go? Why are we uncomfortable with stopping? What is the real reason we are uncomfortable? Who are we hiding from? Can we just sit with a ourselves? With no structured plans and be okay? Or will that cause to much anxiety that we have to find something to do? Why? If we are trying to avoid things that truly need to be done then that is procrastination; if we are doing things in order to avoid ourselves then that is procrastination. What are we trying to avoid and why? Is it too vulnerable? Sit with that and don’t procrastinate.