Why consistency is so important in relationships.

Consistency. It’s one of the biggest values, for me personally, and it speaks volumes about a person. How a person takes care of and treats themselves will speak a lot about how treat and will treat others they are in a relationship with. Whether that be romantic, work, familial, or another other. Furthermore, when they are not, they own it. Consistency leads to trust. Consistency is a key component in healthy relationships, and if you are not consistent with yourself how can you be consistent with others? 

Consistency with self is also incredibly important. It is a huge component of self-trust and self-love. If you are consistent at being inconsistent you may find yourself frustrated, upset, angry, and stressed often. 

Why?

Because you will feel like a failure. 

Whether you internalize it or externalize it, you will not trust yourself, and therefore, other won't trust you either.

What can consistency look like? Here are some examples of what consistency can look like?

•  Do you do what you say you’ll do?
  • Do you follow through with, not only things for others such as your kids, but do you follow through with things for yourself as well? Do you call the doctor you've been meaning to? Do you start eating better? Do you get the sleep you've determined you need? If not then you are not building self trust or consistency. 
• Do you own and apologize when you fail to follow through?
  • If you forget something for someone do you own it and apologize as well as improve upon it the next time? When you do not follow through for yourself, do you own it as well as give yourself some understanding? If not, start practicing that. It is so important!
• Do you uphold and follow through with your boundaries?
  • I find this one to be very hard in certain circumstances. That's because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so when it comes to my kids I find it difficult at times. If you have boundaries, but do not follow through or uphold them then you will be understood as some who is inconsistent. 

In conclusion, here are some key points and questions to contemplate:

Do you say what you say you'll do?

Do you have boundaries, and if so, do you uphold them?

Do you often feel like you are letting others down? Do you feel like your letting yourself down?

Does any of this stress you out just thinking about it?

Be honest with yourself. Because that is a key component within consistency.